(Lazy) Bastard Chili


800px-Bowl_of_chili I’ve called this one Bastard Chili for the longest time. It requires a minimal amount of output for a nice big tasty pot of chili, and is great for people who don’t really like to cook. I like to say that this is what canned chili would taste like if better ingredients were used.



1 packet chili seasoning mix (or cumin, chili powder, you know what goes in those mix things)

3 cloves garlic

1 onion

1 # stew meat (can sub pork if you like)

1- 14 oz can chopped tomatoes in their liquid

2/3 c dried kidney beans, soaked overnight, rinsed and picked over (or sub one can of beans, but the dried way is better)

1 bottle or can of dark beer. Nothing too hoppy, I use Guinness or a nice chocolatey porter)

1T beef stock base (you’ll find it in the liquid stock section of the grocery store, it’s in a little jar)

thickener: corn starch or masa harina

optional: 1-2 roasted red peppers, chopped, a couple of shots of espresso or up to 1 c coffee, 1-2 slices bacon chopped. Sometimes this chile can be a great repository for bits of orphan items in your refrigerator.

Toast seasonings in saute pan. Toss in crock pot or stew pot. Chop onions and garlic in food processor. Garlic is best chopped this way by dropping the cloves down the feed tube with the blades spinning. Saute onion and garlic in a little bit of oil for a few minutes until translucent. Toss in crock pot or stew pot. Grind stew meat in food processor, brown in saute pan. Toss in crock pot or stew pot. Add remaining ingredients, cook until done. On low, in the crock pot, this might take all day. Turn up to high if the beans are not cooked through. On stovetop, medium heat for a couple of hours with minimal stirring.

When chili is almost done, check and adjust seasonings and add salt. If you want the broth to be a little thicker, mix a teaspoon of corn starch or a tablespoon of masa harina with a little cold water and add to chile.

Garnish with shredded cheddar cheese, chopped pickled or fresh jalapenos, chopped white or yellow onion, sour cream, tortilla chips, or any combination thereof. This freezes well and is better the second and third days.

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